Last night, I finally got on Grace Talk Soup to talk about my own testimony on how the Lord found me and on being a homemaker. It was the first time I was invited to talk about myself and how I became a believer and honestly, I am not proud of how it all turned out.

There were a couple of points raised where I know I should have been more expressive and vocal about what I believe in according to the Scriptures. I listened to the podcast on iTunes right after the live interview and I felt stupid, yes, I did not compromise but I wasn’t exactly a good ambassador either because many times during the interview, I just sat there staring at the Scriptures. I wanted to read out loud to back up what I believe in but I did not do it. I realized, it is one thing to stand firm and not be swayed BUT it is another thing to be vocal about what you are standing firm for.

Here are two of the things that I regret not saying out loud:

1. That it isn’t man’s nature to seek God’s face. That there will never be a time in any human being’s life that he will seek on his own. That is how sinful we all are. Yes, don’t be surprised, the truth it we are soooo unworthy that even our good deeds are likened to filthy rags.

All of us have become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags; we all shrivel up like a leaf, and like the wind our sins sweep us away. - Isaiah 64:6

The Scripture says thus in Romans 3:11-12:

there is no one who understands,
no one who seeks God.
All have turned away,
they have together become worthless;
there is no one who does good,
not even one.

2. That we come to God through Jesus Christ. A truth that has been completely cast aside by so many people who say that they believe in God. I was asked during the interview if I believed in God before my salvation, I said yes, I was expecting a follow up question about my belief in Jesus Christ but there was none. While I believe with all my soul and all my heart in God, isn’t it equally important to find out if I believe in Jesus Christ as the Son of God and as my only hope for salvation? I wish I quoted the Scriptures, it is all in Romans 3: 22-23, Righteousness Through Faith:

This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.

While I am glad that I kept watch, I am still disheartened by the fact that I did not seize my chance as I should. My only prayer now is that hopefully, there will be a next time for me.

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