Filthy Rags to God’s Grace

we had a great morning
we went to the park with bruce and the kids
the field was huge and green
we played frisbee
ran around with bruce throughout the field
it was tiring and fun
then we walked around
and finally sat down under a huge tree
we chatted a little
having bonding moments together with the kids
it was fun
we hope to do this every saturday morning
it would be a good opportunity for us to open up the gospel to them at those times
we pray that we’d have the commitment to share to them the gospel
share to them the things we learned
living here up north is fun as compared to living in the city
in manila everything is far from each other
streets are busy 24/7
people make friends for money
but here everything is laidback
and we are so thankful to God for giving us this wonderful blessing!
hopefully next week i’d bring my camera to get a few shots of us together

living here up north wasnt so bad
people here are laid back
hazel’s folks are nice to me
the kids are ok though sometimes hardheaded
we have our own place
no more monthly rents
no more landlords
we have our own garden
we have a dog
a mini dachsund
we have a decent park in town where it has a huge field
perfect for playing with the kids and bruce(the dog)
its been a blessing
hazel and i felt like we’re ritiring already
the only things that concerns us is the salvation of her folks
we’ve been struggling to get an opportunity to do a bible study with them
its been a week
ive already prepared my notes
but still we didnt have the courage to come up to them and just invite them over

is there anyone in history that we see a debater coming to terms with the other party just because he lost in a debate?
is there anyone saying “oh, my religion was wrong after all, thanks to the debate i had with so and so, i realized i was wrong”
would there be a chance for a person who lost in a religious debate be finally convinced of his mistakes?
i mean
is this even possible?
when man by nature is sinful?
is there really such a person who would be humble enough to admit his own mistakes?
his sin?
his pride?
his rebellion against God?
when the Scripture says that by nature no one seeks after God? (Rom 3:11-12)
but how can we convince others if not thru debate?
but where in the Bible did it say that we must convince others thru debate?
. . .even by our own strength?
no
conversion is the work of GOD!
He does the convincing on man
convincing or conversion is not of man’s efforts
in fact, we cant even convert ourselves
let alone convincing!
“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast.” Ephesians 2:8-9 (NIV)
debate among other religions stirs up pride
debate must be among brothers and sisters in Christ
debate is only constructive when both parties have the same direction: to be like Christ
treating Christ as the head, and us the body the Church
we dont see parts of our body warring against each other do we
the body is one
and the body obeys what the head thinks
so to the Church obeys what Christ thinks
if debate would exist, it should be for the purpose of unification of the body and not for the causing of division
but division can still be beneficial if it causes one party to expose the other’s heart
the one who leaves the commands of Christ is the one normally initiates the division
dividing himself away from the truth because he realizes the price of being a Christian
because he realizes he cannot agree with the Scriptures
- - -
how my heart desires for my friends and family to see the Truth
why is it that something so simple, and yet at the same time so difficult( if not impossible) to perceive?
and yet others would just walk away saying their Christians when they just admit a second ago that they disagree with the scriptures!

I used to pray to God to help me understand certain phrases in scriptures
many would do this practice the same
even encourage others to do so
theres nothing wrong with it though
but i realized that while reading certain phrases
i’d be surprised at my discoveries
not because i read it the first time
no, i read the Bible twice already
but why is it i didnt see this the first time?
it was so striking
so vital
so strong
this was very important
but why didnt i see this the first time i read it?
how could i miss such an important message?
if i knew this earlier i’d probably be more mature now
and isnt it that it is God’s desire for Christians to mature?
isnt it that God would smile down from heaven if He sees that I want to grow to be like Christ?
- - -
but no
even in this, God still makes the final decision
i realized that in being a Christian
i cant force God to make me understand scriptures
understanding scriptures or the message makes me grow
makes me mature as a Christian
but no i cant make Him
He decides to make us grow according to His timetable
and not according to ours
and no He doesnt smile from heaven when He realizes i want to be like Christ
He already know whats up ahead of me
- - -
yes its true the Christian will naturally want to know more about Christ
will want to grow for Christ
would desire to be like Him even
some would even go to the extent of making sacrifices
their careers
their families
even themselves
just to know more about Christ
but God doesnt depend on man’s efforts
He is not saying from heaven “thank goodness this Christian wants to grow maturely…how sweet”
even if the Christian has burned his eyebrows all night in reading the scriptures
it will still be God’s decision to reveal to the Christian the message
not my mentors
not my pastors
not even my efforts
but by God’s grace
- - -
so Christian growth doesnt depend on man’s efforts
doesnt depend on the years of being a Christian
doesnt depend on the extra initials (phd,mdivs,etc)
it all depends on God
- - -
“So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow.” 1 Cor 3:7
“Not to us, O LORD, not to us, But to Your name give glory Because of Your lovingkindness, because of Your truth.” Psalm 115:1
“For if anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself.” Gal 6:3

been so busy at work these past few days!
my wife and i are planning to move out of our apartment sometime in June
our decision was lead by 2 reasons:
1. we hate being under a landlord - its too bureaucratic - yeah so we’re idealists
2. reach out to her folks
hopefully things would work out fine
we’d be moving closer to her folks
this means opportunity to spread out the gospel to them
this means we will be facing a new battle
probably bloodier
but we want to trust in Him
cause lately my wife and i are starting to realize that the more we take control of things, the more we depart from the Lord, thus misery would come budging on our door
so if we would trust in ourselves,
we’d say theres no hope in evangelizing to her catholic-born folks
they grew up that way
who can convince them?
surely not i
for i am so not good in convincing people!
but no….
it is not about aiming to produce results
its about obedience
and results are from God
not from us
so hopefully…Lord willing
- - -
we’d be far from our church though
but commuting there once a week wont be much of a trouble
especially we spend most of our time at home
commute would take 45minutes from the place to the church
seeking other churches is out of the question
our family is there
and we love them
thank God for their love and support
something i never experienced nor expected from my own folks
even if i did, it wouldnt be biblical
so id still prefer my family with the church
- - -
for the next few weeks will be very busy with work
and with moving out
this will be another chapter of my life
i dont know how i should call it
- - -
[ Chapter 5 - Moving Out ] ???
- - -
chapter 1 was about me being a christian faker…like many ofcourse
chapter 2 was about being a prodigal son…i should write something about that in the future
chapter 3 was about getting married
chapter 4 was about living the marriage life and with the spiritual family the church
chapter 5 will be about moving out of the city. this would be me first time in my life to live outside quezon city
those chapters would do fine for an outline of my life

before whenever i feel down, i would turn to books
christian books
martyn lloyd jones and other books
the bible didnt appeal to me that much
especially in moments of deep sorrow
couldnt understand a single word from it
when im in the peak of my anger
or loneliness
i dont turn to the bible
i do pray though sometimes
but the bible didnt make no sense to me at all
then i thought to myself
perhaps the bible would be more understandable if i be less emotional
so its been like this for years
when my day turns bad…
whenever i get emotional…
i turn to other books for comfort
in fact, they didnt even do me well enough
but it helped a little
i thought to myself
im only human
so if im being emotional, and since the bible isnt too emotional, id rather hear it from a fellow human
so that i would understand more
than reading straight from the bible
- - -
but when i read those books
they always point me to the scriptures
like repeatedly saying
dont look at me
look at the scriptures
here is what your really looking for
i dont hold the answer to your concerns
so ive been reading them for years
- - -
then lately im noticing a change
a good change
and im not sure if i need to be bothered by it
but my concience says i shouldnt be
that whenever i encounter dark days
the books
the famous authors
didnt make no sense!
what is this?
ive reached almost half the book (though im a pretty slow reader thats for sure)!
and still it didnt make no sense
i mean…it made sense
they do made sense
but its the satisfaction
my hunger wasnt satisfied
i was looking for more
i was thirsting for more
- - -
years ago whenever i visit a bookstore be it secular or christian
my knees would turn jumpy as if im a kid about to swim in the pool
i get so excited
and would love to read a lot of books
id save up money to buy books
but then now
its different
whenever i see bookstores
they dont appeal to me no more
not even john macarthur books
i realized that throughout the years as a Christian
my appetite for peacefulness changes
what is this?
the nature of my own appetite changes?
how can this be?
ive been doing this for years then now it changes?
what can satisfy me more
if the books didnt satisfy me
what then will satisfy me?
so i tried turning to the bible itself
i went to the source itself for the full satisfaction of my hunger!
and yes
i was satisfied
and they made perfect sense
and i realized it was the answer im looking for all these years
- - -
whenever my mom would text me those hurtful words
id remember the words of the scriptures
of Christ
ahh
it was refreshing
it was very encouraging
my thirst quenched
my hunger satisfied
my blood flows actively
it was too emotional indeed
that after realizing the words of Christ
id conclude
what a wonderful friend we have in Jesus!
thank God for the loyal authors
who would point me to the scriptures instead of pointing me to elsewhere
i realized that throughout the years of reading these books
i was being carried towards the scriptures and not towards man
not towards psychology
not towards self-fulfilment
but towards God Himself!
- - -
Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God’” Matthew 4:4

for the past few days i was witnessing my wife’s persecutions
i know she is emotional
most women would be
and would get offended easily
but i confirmed with her that we as Christians exist in this world to evangelize
to be like Christ
to be salt and light of this world
and not to defend ourselves
because ourselves are gone
we have died to ourselves and live to God
the old has gone and the new has come
i see her nodding in agreement
but later on shed turn back to what she just vomitted
she confirmed that she didnt like what she just heard
but she repeatedly turn back to it and suck herself into it
i repeatedly confirmed with her that our paths with unbelievers are different
we speak different languages
at the end of their road of life is death and hell beyond
at the end of our road …well…we dont have end of the road since we have life eternal
what i was trying to say is we have different directions
we may speak same terms and jargons
but the intention of each is different
unbelievers meaning of salvation may be that of avoiding the inconvenience of hell
and facing eternity in heaven which is a place of carnal pleasure
while to Christians meaning of salvation is being saved from sin by grace
being saved after cursing and spitting on God
the unbelievers definition of salvation doesnt compel them to repent and grow towards Christ-likeness
so Christians and unbelievers are totally different
but even after many words of convincing my wife
it took her awhile to realize things
after much talk
and her continuously consulting with pastor larry
she cried her tears away
and started to see things clearly
we prayed and thanked God for this experience
we thanked God because we realize that God made her stand firm
we thanked God because we saw Him protecting her from harm
if it werent for this experience, we wouldnt know the value of His protection
how can you value your shield unless its been struck by many arrows!
how can you tell wether your faith is deeply rooted in Christ unless a storm comes and disturb it
how can you see the strength God has given you unless its been tested
she may be wounded
but the wounds would heal and later on would prove to be her useful notes in the years to come
yes, hazel mustve fell down wounded
but the lesson learned was priceless
a lesson that is not easy to learn
a lesson that only God can teach
dependence on Him
- - -
“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.” Ephesians 6:10-18

people would ask me sometimes
oh your a Christian…so uh…what is your denomination?
though my reply wasnt much of a macarthic way
still i tried my best in replying
no, we dont have any denomination
denominations are traditions set by man
its purpose is to be systematic
systematic normally loses its spirit or essence
protestanism grew cold, so spawned baptists
then methodists
then pentecostalism
and on and on it goes
the list never stops
this isnt new
its been there since God knows when
but the question still remains: are you a Christian?
groups dont define me
labels or t-shirts dont say anything about my relationship with Christ
membering on a so and so church is just paper work
but people need to know
they think that by identifying yourself with a so and so denomination will define your relationship with Christ
oh thank God your not a pentecostal
you know how people often mistake them for being on drugs nowadays
or
oh so your reading Joel Osteen’s books
thats good, i hear he says hes a Christian. you must be a Christian too!
but this is not so
for not all who followed Christ remained with Christ in His time
even upto now people still fake their identity with Christ
so what is my denomination then?
im a Christian
well so am i….!
me too….!
we’re all Christians here…!
- - -
“Dear friends, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world. This is how you can recognize the Spirit of God: Every spirit that acknowledges that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is from God, but every spirit that does not acknowledge Jesus is not from God. This is the spirit of the antichrist, which you have heard is coming and even now is already in the world.” 1John 4:1-3

we provided food for you
we gave you shelter
we paid for your studies
if it isnt for us you wouldnt have grown up to be the man you are
we scratched your back
we gave you gifts
we loved you
we took you to places
we followed all the ethics rules for you
we cancelled our schedule for you
we were there for you
because we love you
pls be considerate of our efforts for you
- - -
i honestly appreciate their concern for me
their sacrifices
their love for me
BUT
i realized that the origin of ethics is sin
i realized that one way or another theyd expect to be treated the same or at least some sort of effort
i mean thats the essence of being human
ethics
i scratched your back you scratch mine
the problem with this is the commitment among man will never end
once you soak yourself into exchanging scratches (wether scratching or being scratched)
you are expected by man to be into such commitment as long as they offer to scratch your back
this will never end
and this will set you in bondage to serving man than God
especially when man is not by nature seeker of God but haters
and theyd say
this isnt about religion
its about ethics
im not asking you to switch religion
im only asking you to be considerate because we scratched your back
your not going to die if you disobey Christ once
isnt it that the Bible commands us to love others?
you sicko you dont know the meaning of ethics!
you and your religion are a delusion and your offending mankind
you will never have friends if you continue to do this
you sick
you disgust me
well those were actually just a preview of what my folks told me the past few days
and for every phrase they made i defended the Truth
because I love them enough to correct them of their sin
I love them enough to show them their condition with God
I love them enough to be rejected by them and by others just to make them see and turn to Christ
I love them enough to help them snatch from the fiery pits of hell
as for ethics
ethics is just fast food
it doesnt provide nutrients
it doesnt concern your future
it just concerns your life here on earth
and its bringing them down to the very gates of hell
- - -
so ask yourselves this: is ethics love or hate?
- - -
“Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For everything in the world—the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does—comes not from the Father but from the world. The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever.” 1 John 2:15-17

“And now, dear children, continue in him, so that when he appears we may be confident and unashamed before him at his coming.” 1 John 2:28

“Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.” Colossians 3:2-3

“Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. Because of these, the wrath of God is coming. You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived.” Colossians 3:5-7